Empathy: Walk a Mile in My Shoes

The Power of Empathy in Leadership

During a recent leadership development meeting with a client team, the word empathy kept coming up in our conversation. It came up as a necessary, yet clearly deficient, component in their approach to leadership. Would your team members say that you understand and appreciate what they are feeling?

Among this particular team, there is a healthy representation of multiple age groups. The members span the breadths of single to married, pre-school parents to empty-nesters, and 'we've only just begun' to 'I can see the finish line.' With this kind of diversity among the leadership, it is easy to lose sight of what matters to each other.

This team courageously engages in the intentional, hard work of improving their culture. One of the critical factors in their process is the development of empathy. Simply put, to effectively communicate and advance their vision as a team, they have to employ the wisdom of Joe South.

In 1969, at a pinnacle in the struggle for civil and social rights in the U.S., Joe South penned the words, "walk a mile in my shoes."¹ Joe's primary message was simple, 'if you want to communicate effectively with (or about) me, take the time to understand life from my perspective.'

The best leadership I've been privileged to serve under possessed an evident appreciation for the power of empathy. The CEO valued understanding and sharing the feelings of another, and she disciplined herself to relate to me in a way that communicated that she "got me." By this, she let me know that she took my needs and feelings into consideration in her decision-making process. This approach afforded me both a sense of respect and a measure of ownership in the situation at hand.

Leaders who can discipline themselves to both think and communicate empathetically promote a deep sense of trust and value with their teams and co-workers.

Steps to Success

1. 1. Identify one team member whose lifestyle/life stage is distinctly different from your own. Take a few minutes to note what you believe matters to them at this stage of their life and career.
   2. Sit down with that individual and verify your observations. Let them know you are working on this particular leadership discipline and could use their feedback in your development process.
   3. Before a performance management review or other critical conversation, pause..., think...  "what do I know about this individual?" This momentary pause will potentially facilitate two things: It will affect a greater sense of presence with the individual in the moment. It will also communicate value to the team member.

So, "before you abuse, criticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes."¹

¹Joe South, Capitol Records, 1969