Listening well may be the simplest key to improving your team’s engagement and performance.
Value is Conferred by Listening
Most of my clients can easily rehearse the idea, “people only feel valued to the degree that they feel heard.” In the pursuit of creating a culture where people feel valued above process and product, we have to intentionally practice the ‘art’ of listening.
The Big Bad Wolf gives us insight into one of the intrinsic qualities of great leadership. Little Red Riding Hood strolls into Grandma’s house, unaware that Big Bad was lying in wait dressed in Grandma’s nightgown. As the story goes, Red begins to realize that all is not as it seems. At one point she observes, “My! What big ears you have!” Big Bad replies, “all the better to hear you with!” Pause! In spite of other harmful qualities and less-than-honorable motives, the Big Bad Wolf gives us insight into one of the intrinsic qualities of great leadership. Great leaders have an unusual capacity to listen to, and hear, those whom they serve.
Distracted Much?
In our age of technological instant access (I’ve had three texts, two emails, and one request for FaceTime while I’m writing this), the distraction factor is at an all-time high. I have found that I need increasingly intentional discipline to stay present to others in conversation. My wife and I went to dinner with another couple recently. One of them spent so much time checking their phone that I felt like our attempts at conversation were interrupting their agenda. People perceive your presence in a conversation, or the lack thereof.
You Can Learn to Listen Well!
Good listening skills can be developed. You can learn to confer value by listening well. Here are a few behaviors that set great leaders/listeners apart from the crowd.
- Put down distractions! When someone approaches you, look up from your device or work at hand. Then, make eye contact. If someone approaches you at an inconvenient moment, ask them if you can set a time to hear their idea or concern. Then, keep the commitment.
- Don’t be a fool! Good listeners are slow to interrupt. They approach conversations without pressure to crank out an answer. They are present to hear and consider another perspective on an issue. Great leaders recognize that innovation and creativity come from the ground up. They listen carefully, intent on fully hearing before answering. One of the sacred wisdom writers observed that “a fool answers a man before he hears him.”
- Seek to understand before being understood! Gaining ownership and alignment around shared values requires that your team feels confident that their voice matters in the conversation. Directives serve dictators well. Meaningful conversation and healthy conflict may take more time, but they produce greater commitment and accountability within your team.
- Ask for help! If your listening style prefers the concise presentation of information, ask for it. It’s okay to kindly ask, “I tend to process better with less (or more) detail. Can you give me your thoughts in a more condensed (or elaborate) presentation?” In doing this, do not seek to separate emotion from the speaker’s content. Strong emotion doesn’t always constitute drama. Their emotion can signal their level of passion and commitment regarding a particular issue.
Great leaders recognize that innovative moments and ideas come in a variety of presentations. Those leaders have honed the capacity to listen well and really hear those whom they serve. They gain an understanding of critical concerns and stay on top of emerging thoughts and ideas. Invest the time to hear your team well. The results of improved engagement and performance will make you glad you did!
Lead well,
Bill