The Presence-Value Connection

Are you communicating deep value for your team members? If I were to ask your team members the following questions about you, how would they respond? “Do you believe that (insert your name here) values you?” “Does he/she value your contribution to the team? ”

Most of the teams and leaders that I serve regularly rehearse the following phrase, ‘people only feel valued to the degree that they feel heard.’ That phrase brilliantly reflects the potential power of our presence in communicating value for the people we are leading.

Presence as Affirmation

As a leader, the value implied in offering my full attention is powerful. Being thoughtfully present to every conversation with those I serve is one of the strongest affirmations I can offer. It is also one of the more serious challenges that I commonly have to re-visit.

Early in my career, I might as well have worn a sign around my neck that said “unavailable and disinterested’. My body language and default facial expression communicated this in spite of my intention. After gaining the confidence and trust of one particular co-worker, he graciously identified this liability in my presentation. He simply said, “for a long time, I haven’t felt like my opinion mattered to you.” Wow! Nothing could have been further from the truth, but my default posture implied something very different. As we talked, it came to light that I had a tendency to present as pre-occupied and ‘too busy’ to engage beyond a superficial level. I initially blamed this on my preference for introversion (INFP, for those who are interested), but it came down to the fact that I just wasn’t practicing presence in conversations.

It came down to the fact that I just wasn't practicing presence in the conversation.

I deeply value the contributions of those with whom I serve. The success of our endeavors depends on the creativity and ideas of those around me. Leading well requires that I actively listen and acknowledge what they are bringing to the table. I must practice presence consistently so that my team perceives the confidence and appreciation that I have for their contributions to the success of our shared vision.

Enhance Your Presence with Your Team

1. FaceTime! If your default expression conveys ‘unavailable’ or ‘perpetually annoyed’, you are going to need to re-boot. Body language and expression are your most valuable tools in communicating thoughtful presence. Feedback is valuable here. So, ask a trusted teammate how you typically come across. Practice expressing value with your countenance. I worked diligently for a season to improve my presentation with my team. My wife humorously challenged me on more than one occasion, “show me your compassionate face.” It was a funny but necessary, reminder to check my facial presentation.
2. Unplug! Our ability to be fully present to any given moment is seriously impeded by our dependence on our devices. Put your phone down, lift your head and eyes away from your monitor. Give your team the gift of your eyes and ears in undivided attention for a moment. If you must take a call or check a text, apologize for diverting your attention before you descend into the abyss of digital disconnection.
3. Listen! Practice the art of active listening. Rehearse what you have heard from your team members back to them. This will affirm clear reception and understanding. You communicate volumes of appreciation and value by simply listening well.

The Greek philosopher Epictetus gets credit for the quote, “We were born with two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” And so, it seems that as early as 55 AD, the wisest members of our species were aware of the power and value of extending the gift of your presence. Follow their advice and…

Lead well!

Bill